The opening verse of Eicha, read on Tisha B’Av (this year: Monday, July 31 at 8:30 pm), describes dejected Jerusalem as being “like” a widow. What does it mean to be “like” one who has lost a spouse, as opposed to simply having lost one’s spouse? Our rabbis explain by way of a parable: It is like a king who became angry with his wife and gave her a bill of divorce and then snatched it away from her. When she sought to remarry, he said to her, “Where is your proof of divorce?” When she claimed the rights and privileges due the king’s wife, he said to her, “Have I not divorced you?”
Religious and spiritual people largely agree that there is a transcendent purpose, or plan, to our existence. Despite our longing to glimpse this larger picture, our rabbis acknowledge that life contains an aspect of arbitrariness. Matters don’t always turn out the way we deserve; life is not always fair.
Like the king’s hapless wife, we are occasionally challenged by circumstances beyond our control and ability to understand. Unlike her, however, we need not face these circumstances alone. Although on Tisha B’Av we read of Jerusalem’s loneliness, we do so gathered together as a community of friends. Community cannot necessarily change an unpleasant reality. However, community can provide a source of comfort and solidarity. We all pray for a long life of health, happiness and blessing. When the inevitable strikes, it is reassuring to know that others are with us, doing what can be done to make a positive difference.
Rabbi Mitch Levine